As sexual citizens, we need to be aware of our sexual health rights and responsibilities. But how many of us are? Gillian Leno addresses the things we may take for granted in our sex and relationships, and why some people are being left out of the conversation.
Supported Loving toolkit
Sex positive sexuality and relationships training
Share this page
People with support needs have the same rights to have intimate, sexual and romantic relationships as anyone else, but often don’t have adequate support to ensure that they are able to exercise these rights.
This can affect their potential for meeting partners and starting relationships, maintaining and growing them, and having positive, healthy and happy intimate lives.
This lack of support often stems from staff feeling unable to help (or unsure of what they can or should do), so this section will discuss the importance of effective training for staff around supporting relationships and sexual expression. We look at how this can positively impact the lives of people by ensuring that their needs around their intimate lives are recognised, prioritised and responded to properly. We will look at how good training and support can enhance outstanding practice and support safeguarding and positive disclosures.
Common issues and ways of countering them
Sexuality, gender, sex and intimate, or romantic relationships, consistently pose a challenge for support staff. A key contributing factor to this is a lack of proper clarity for staff who need support, training, policies and clear strategies.
By default, approaches are often heavily geared towards minimising risk, not only to the individual but also to the care provider, which may not have robust procedures in place. However, this approach is not realistic and can lead to inconsistencies and confusion, because it may end up being led subjectively by individual staff and what they feel is best. It is in everyone’s best interest to have a clear organisational policy for staff to use, with appropriate training to support their practice. Anything other than this can mean that the focus is taken away from the needs of the individual.
How a lack of staff training can have an impact on the people you support?
- An inability to provide an open, listening culture means that shame can become a default. If a person feels like they have made a mistake or done something wrong they are less likely to speak to staff if they have had an experience they are worrying about.
- People are more likely to put themselves at risk if they aren’t supported openly in having somewhere safe and private to go, or being able to access their partner (or opportunities to meet one) in an open, adult, positive way.
- Less likely to recognise abuse or exploitation.
- Less likely to access services because staff may not know or be personally willing to support this.
- Feeling restricted, unsupported, or not listened to.
- Most importantly less likely to have a happy and healthy intimate or sexual life.
Staff who don’t have training and support run the risk of…
- feeling uncertain or unsafe in their practice
- feeling that they have to work in isolation or do things in secret, which could put them or the person they support at risk
- feeling excluded from being able to access support
- fears of disciplinary or even legal consequences.
When thinking about the support that people need, an approach that is clear, consistent and compassionate needs to be maintained. It is virtually impossible to achieve this unless all staff are confident in their boundaries and understand their responsibilities.
Benefits of clear staff training
- Coherent approach to supporting individuals (which improves consistency, clarity and compassion), which safeguards both clients and the organisation.
- Improved staff confidence.
- Better understanding of professional boundaries.
- Better understanding of legal requirements.
- Able to promote an open and receptive ‘listening’ culture, as it’s modelled for staff as well as people being supported.
What should be included in the training?
- Promotion of the importance of supporting individuals to exercise their rights and responsibilities.
- Information about requirements - legal, ethical and professional.
- Attitudinal exercises to support staff in being able to raise and tackle sensitive or complex issues.
- Ideas, resources and referral pathways or examples for supporting people in a practical and compassionate way.
- Consistent, clear and thorough reference to policy to ensure management and team support.
- Awareness raising about the importance of access to management support and debrief.
- Opportunities for staff to ask questions and talk about relevant issues and concerns.
Do...
- consider having an objective, external agency come to deliver the training to allow staff space to raise their concerns
- ensure a robust policy is in place beforehand and that the training is well-linked to this, so that it is a useable, and useful tool for staff
- be prepared for staff to challenge and raise concerns.
Don't...
- offer the training solely to one group of staff. Training that is seeking to support change and improvement in working practice/culture should be for everyone
- only plan to do it once
- forget to include the wishes and needs of the people you support. Some of the best training can stem from lessons learned when responding to a specific issue.
Case study
Jenny and Bobby live in separate care provisions and see each other every week at a facilitated Friday night disco and social.
One Monday, Jenny tells her friend Rupi that on Friday night she and Bobby went into one of the toilets at the pub and had sex. Jenny tells her it was planned and they both consented, but doesn’t seem to know about condoms or protection. Rupi thinks Jenny might have got pregnant. Jenny is very scared; Rupi says she should talk to her key worker and go to her doctor. Jenny says she will be in trouble as her key worker has told her that sex is really risky, and that she is worried that her key worker will stop her from seeing Bobby for her own safety.
Possible outcomes:
- Jenny is pregnant and misses the opportunity for emergency contraception.
- Jenny suffers unnecessary emotional distress and shame.
- Jenny is prevented from seeing her partner.
Possible outcomes with a sex positive approach, training and policy:
Confident sex positive staff mean that:
- Jenny and Bobby get to see each other privately and have had sex positive discussions about consent and contraception
- if the incident has happened, Jenny is able to talk to her key worker and access services.
Gill Leno
Queen Alexander College
The views expressed in the Supported Loving toolkit are not necessarily those of Choice Support.
Resources
Are you a sexual citizen?
Sexuality and Learning Disabilities
Sexuality and Severe Autism: A Practical Guide for Parents, Caregivers and Health Educators
Sex, Personal Relationships and the Law for Adults with Learning Disabilities: A guide to decision-making in England and Wales, including the Mental Capacity Act
Supported Loving toolkit
The Supported Loving network has produced a series of guides to help support people with issues surrounding sexuality and relationships.
Read more
What is Supported Loving?
For some people finding love is often more than just chemistry – it can come down to getting the right support
Read more
Supported Loving network
Supported Loving is not a formal membership organisation. Anyone can take part, it is free.
Read more