- Bates, C (ed). (2018). Sexuality and Learning Disabilities. Pavilion
- Reynolds, K. (2015) Sexuality and Severe Autism: A Practical Guide for Parents, Caregivers and Health Educators. Jessica Kingsley
- Thompson, D (2018). Sex, Personal Relationships and the Law for Adults with Learning Disabilities
- A guide to decision-making in England and Wales, including the Mental Capacity Act (2005) and Sexual Offences Act (2003). Pavilion
Supported Loving toolkit
Sex positive sexuality and relationships training

People with learning disabilities have the same rights to have intimate, sexual and romantic relationships as anyone else, but often don’t have adequate support to ensure that they’re able to exercise these rights.
This can affect their potential for meeting partners and starting relationships, maintaining and growing them, or having positive, healthy and happy sexual lives.
This lack of support often stems from staff feeling unable to help (or unsure of what they can or should do) so this section of the Supported Loving toolkit will discuss the importance of effective training around sex and relationships for staff. It looks at how this can positively impact the lives of people with learning disabilities by ensuring that their needs around their intimate lives are recognised, prioritised and responded to properly. It will look at how good training and support can enhance outstanding practice and support safeguarding and positive disclosures.
Staff training
Sexuality, gender, sex, and intimate or romantic relationships consistently pose a challenge for support staff and decisions made around support for people with learning disabilities. A key contributing factor to this is a lack of proper clarity and underpinning with support, training, policy and strategy for staff.
By default, approaches are often heavily geared towards minimising risk – not only to the people, but also to the care provider, which may not have robust procedures in place. However, this approach is not realistic, and can lead to inconsistencies and confusion because it may end up being led objectively by individual staff and what they feel is best. It is in everybody's best interests to have a clear organisational policy for staff to use, with appropriate training to support their practice. Anything other than this can mean that the focus is taken away from the needs of the client.
How lack of staff training can have an impact on the client with learning disabilities
- An inability to provide an open, listening culture means that shame can become a default – if a person feels like they’ve made a mistake or done something wrong they’re less likely to speak to staff if they’ve had an experience they’re worried about.
- People are more likely to put themselves at risk if they aren’t supported openly in having somewhere safe and private to go, or being able to access their partner (or opportunities to meet one) in an open, adult, positive way.
- Less likely to recognise abuse or exploitation.
- Less likely to access services because staff may not know or be personally willing to support this.
- Feeling restricted or unsupported, or not listened to.
- Most importantly, less likely to have a happy and healthy intimate or sexual life.
Staff who don’t have training and support run the risk of:
- feeling uncertain or unsafe in their practice
- feeling that they have to work in isolation or do things in secret, which could put them or their client at risk
- feeling excluded from being able to access support
- fearing disciplinary or even legal consequences.
When thinking about the support that clients need, an approach that is clear, consistent and compassionate needs to be maintained. It is virtually impossible to achieve this unless all the staff are confident in their boundaries and understand their responsibilities.
Benefits of clear staff training
- Coherent approach to supporting clients (which improves consistency, clarity and compassion), which safeguards both clients and the organisation.
- Improved staff confidence.
- Better understanding of professional boundaries.
- Better understanding of legal requirements.
- Able to promote an open and receptive ‘listening’ culture modelled for staff as well as clients.
What should be included?
- Promotion of the importance of supporting clients to exercise their rights and responsibilities.
- Information about requirements - legal, ethical and professional.
- Attitudinal exercises to support staff in being able to raise and tackle sensitive or complex issues.
- Ideas, resources, and referral pathways or examples for supporting people in a practical and compassionate way.
- Consistent, clear, and thorough reference to policy to ensure management and team support.
- Awareness raising about the importance of access to management support and debrief.
- Opportunities for staff to ask questions and talk about relevant issues and concerns.
Do...
- consider having an objective, external agency to deliver the training to allow staff space to raise their concerns
- ensure a robust policy is in place beforehand and that the training is well linked to this so that it is a useable, and useful tool for staff
- be prepared for staff to challenge and raise concerns.
Don't...
- Offer the training solely to one group of staff – training that is seeking to support change and improvement in working practice/culture should be for everyone
- Only plan to do it once
- Forget to include the wishes and needs of the people you support. Some of the best training can stem from lessons learned when responding to a specific issue.
Case Study
Jenny and Bobby live separately and see each other every week at a facilitated Friday night disco and social.
One Monday, Jenny tells her friend Rupi that on Friday night she and Bobby went into one of the toilets at the pub and had sex. Jenny tells her it was planned and they both consented, but doesn’t seem to know about condoms or protection. Rupi thinks she might have got pregnant. Jenny is very scared; Rupi says she should talk to her key worker and go to the doctor’s. Jenny says she will be in trouble as her key worker has told her that sex is really risky and that she is worried that her key worker will stop her from seeing Bobby for her own safety.
Possible outcomes
- Jenny is pregnant and misses the opportunity for emergency contraception.
- Jenny suffers unnecessary emotional distress and shame.
- Jenny is prevented from seeing her partner.
Possible outcomes with sex positive approach training and policy
- Jenny and Bobby get to see each other privately and have had sex positive discussions about consent and contraception.
- If the incident has happened, Jenny is able to talk to her key worker and access services.
Gill Leno
Queen Alexander College
The views expressed in the Supported Loving toolkit are not necessarily those of Choice Support.