Supported Loving toolkit
Overcoming barriers isn’t easy for people with a disability who identify as LGBTQ+. A lack of confidence and a lack of communication skills can leave people vulnerable.
There are approximately 1.5 million people in the UK with a learning disability. 6% of the UK population identifies as LGBTQ+. There is currently no statistical data regarding how many of the 1.5% million people with a learning disability identify as LGBTQ+.
As an openly gay man without a learning disability I was recently asked by social care professional “which one of you or your partner wants to be a woman?”
Why use this question to open a toolkit around LGBTQ+ best practice and support for adults with learning disabilities and their supporters? I wanted to raise how worrying it is that I am being asked this derogatory question in 2019 and to ask if there is hope for people with a learning disability to fully express their chosen identity safely?
Overcoming barriers isn’t easy for people with a disability. A lack of confidence and a lack of communication skills can leave people vulnerable. Here are some of the key barriers and thoughts about how to overcome them
Be committed in your approach to promoting diversity and inclusivity when working with adults with learning disabilities. We must have a good understanding of an individual’s needs and preferences in this area and support them to express them as part of good practice.
Sex education for adults with learning disabilities rarely happens and when provided it is often misjudged, rushed, and focused on heterosexual sex. Not to mention the known barriers (as highlighted earlier). Limited funding and organisational cuts throw even more pressure on already limited out-dated resources. Most adults with a learning disability want to ask real questions about sex but have limited opportunities. A recent question I asked was, "if I go down on a man and he comes in my mouth" can I catch something? Experience and existing research suggest real answers are in demand, not skirting around the question without answering it.
If you are not sure how to answer a question or have these types of conversations, you can access support via Sexual Health D&G.
An effective abbreviation to recognise the diverse spectrum of sexual gender and identities.
L = Lesbian
G = Gay
B = Bi-Sexual
T = Transgender
Q = Queer/Questioning
I = Intersex
A = Asexual
+ = Inclusivity
What’s important is that people with a learning disability get to define what their label means to them. Let’s set the record straight - don’t mind the pun. People can label themselves as they want to or not at all, it’s up to them. LGBTQIA+ people with learning disabilities want to express themselves, they want to be themselves and being a part of a safe place or group can enable them to do just that. Listen, reassure, guide, and if you are not sure yourself – signpost. Not all people with learning disabilities will know what these words mean, or they may not have the language to express their sexuality. Staff may have to rely on other cues, such as body language, to understand what a person may be trying to communicate.
Talking about LGBTQ+ characters on TV can be a good way to bring up the topic in conversation.
Most people with a learning disability don’t just need to build trust with people, they need to build trust in a place, the environment needs to feel safe, too. Research has shown that some mainstream LGBTQ+ venues/groups can be unwelcoming/unsuitable for people with learning disabilities. As founder of 2buWakefield who identify as LGBTQ+ we offer a safe place every month where people can be free to be themselves and make new friends and relationships.
If you want help setting up your own group, please contact 2BU Wakefield and we can help you. Contact Supported Loving to find out if there is already a group you could join in your area.
Since coming out as Transgender 2buWakefield have helped me to improve my relationship with others and make new friends #asafeplacetobeyou Charlotte, 2buWakefield Member
A has mild learning disabilities and identifies as LGBTQ+. A, in his own words, was raised in a restrictive faith-led family environment. LGBTQ+ identities were not discussed in A’s family or in A’s community. A was subjected to some harrowing circumstances that resulted in an Adult Social Care Community Placement.
Through a social worker A accessed a local young person’s service for LGBTQ identities. It was here that A was signposted to a monthly social group for LGBTQ+ adults with learning disabilities. An introductory meeting was arranged, and the group met A in a public space and chatted over coffee. A attended the first group, was shy and unsure, but was encouraged to relax, just observe and to take their time. A later confirmed they had enjoyed the session and would come again.
Fast forward three months – A has now attended and participated local Pride events, is a regular group member of the LGBTQ+ social group and is no longer the shy and retiring individual we saw at the first meet. Why? A had access to a safe place where A could build trust in the environment and the people who attend and offer support. It gave A fun, friendships and a relaxed space that offers A the space for freedom of expression, free from pressure and as A’s confidence grew so does A’s self-control.
Christian Buchan, Project Lead, 2BUWakefield, Charlotte Louise Johnson 2BUWakefield Member and Michael Booth 2BUWakefield Volunteer Project Worker
The views expressed in the Supported Loving toolkit are not necessarily those of Choice Support.
Useful resources on LGBT identities, gender, sexuality, sexual health and relationships.
A summary of what people with learning difficulties said about being gay, lesbian or bisexual.
Resources from SCIE - barriers faced by disabled people, including people with learning disabilities, who use support .
LGBTQ+ guidance a resource for staff was written by Jon Dennison from Choice Support who set up rainbow friends
‘Lesbian gay bisexual and trans’ booklet in easy words with line drawings (costs £6.99 or whole sex and relationships pack (5 booklets)
Written by Supported Loving Member and semi-retired learning disability nurse Nigel Hodges
Aimed at readers 15+, this novel, narrated by a young man with a learning disability, tells the story of one person’s experiences growing up and coming out.
Just like anyone else, Dave wants friendships, love and sex. But it’s not so straightforward when you have a learning disability. And you’re gay. Over a period of several months, helped by his Advocacy Buddy Henry, he records his story and his search for love together with his desire for “people like me” to be taken seriously and treated “right.” Buy here
The Supported Loving network has produced a series of guides to help support people with issues surrounding sexuality and relationships.
Read more
For some people finding love is often more than just chemistry – it can come down to getting the right support
Read more
Supported Loving is not a formal membership organisation. Anyone can take part, it is free.
Read more
